Hey guys! So I know I'm super out-of-date on my usual posting schedule! Eventually I want to make an OFFICIAL schedule, so that you know exactly when I'll be posting. Until then, I'm so sorry, but I guess you'll just have to keep in check. (Or, ya know, visit my Facebook page). So today, let me talk to you about...MENTAL ILLNESS. Not the most pleasing topic, I know. Don't worry; I promise I'm not gonna go on some boring rant. I'm just gonna tell you how it is for ME, and hopefully some of you can relate. To start with, let me tell you what all I've been diagnosed with. I have OCD, Tourettes, and ADHD. Let me go ahead and tell ya, this is NOT a fun combo; not at ALL.
For those of you who don't know, here's a little info about each:
*Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (obsessions), or behaviors that make them feel driven to do something (compulsions).
*Gilles de la Tourette syndrome is a condition that causes a person to make repeated, quick movements or sounds that they cannot control. These movements or sounds are called tics. The condition is commonly called Tourette syndrome.
*Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a problem of not being able to focus, being overactive, not being able control behavior, or a combination of these. For these problems to be diagnosed as ADHD, they must be out of the normal range for a person's age and development.
Now that that's all sorted out, just know: it SUCKS.
OCD makes me have to have all my stuff lined up just right, and also stacked with largest things on the bottom, and smallest things on top. I always have to fix my books and whatnot when I sit or go somewhere (even my backpack is arranged like this).Tourettes (as I call it) makes me not only do weird tics, I also MIMIC the movements/sounds of others. In other words, if you're the one jerk who constantly shakes your leg, fixes your hair, or makes repeated sounds: I hate you. =n= Not only do I do tics, my OCD makes me repeat them OVER and OVER again. It drives me insane! Last but not least, ADHD. My ADHD makes me talk a LOT, and it also makes me less focused in class. Not only that, but if you talk to me you'll see that I tend to change subject about every minute or so. I guess the main problem with having the Big 3 (what I refer to them as), is that most medicines can't help.
When I was younger, we tried a TON of different medicines to try to help me. At one point I was taking somewhere around 10 different ones at a time. Basically, a medicine for ADHD makes me emotionless & zombie-like, whereas a medicine for OCD or Torettes does the opposite. I remember my first day of 4th grade (at a new school, to boot), they started me on a new medicine called Adderall. They told my mom that 'my appetite would me lower than usual'. Well forget that! Not only was I not the slightest bit hungry, I actually had to go sit in the bathroom for the whole lunch-time because the smell/sight of food made me nauseous. All during the day, I was shaking uncontrollably. I don't just mean a small twitch; my ENTIRE body was shaking frantically. The worst part? They wouldn't even let me call home. They could see how badly I was reacting, but they told me to wait it out. Needless to say, I had a pretty rough first day. The rest of the year, people thought I was a little insane. That's when I decided: I don't start new medicines during school; I don't take medicine unless I know EXACTLY what it does; I only take a couple different medicines at a time. My days of being over-medicated are OVER. Currently, the only medicine I take for my 'Mental Illnesses' is Clonidine. Thanks to my wonderful combo, I have HORRIBLE Insomnia. A lot of my friends think I'm just a night owl, but really I don't have much of a choice. Clonidine is a pill that helps me to go to sleep. About an hour after taking it, I'm tired and ready to go to bed. Before I started taking it, I would randomly wake up during the middle of the night; now I sleep great & I'm able to wake up for school. :)
One of the big reasons I wrote this is so that you all learn one thing: If someone has a Mental Illness, or they have Tics like me, DON'T YOU DARE be mean to them. From experience, I know that they already have a pretty rough time; please please PLEASE don't make it worse. If you want to help, ask them what you can do. With me, I mostly just ask people to be patient with me. Yeah, sometimes my need to always even out my sandwich bites is annoying, but my friends accept it. They don't get mad when I stumble over my words, or when I just need my own space. (I forgot to mention: I'm also claustrophobic) So: Be kind, be loving, be supportive. :) As always, thanks for reading <3
Stay Strong, Stay Beautiful
Abigail Gurley <3
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